How To Become a Wedding Planner

I get asked weekly “how did you become a wedding planner?” and my usual answer is “a lot of hard work”, but today I’ll actually go into it and share some of the road that I have traveled. Unlike many careers where you get a degree, intern, then get a job in said career, there really is no regulated or set way to become a wedding coordinator/planner. Funnily enough, I did not go into this because I’m in love with weddings, I went into wedding planning because I’ve always wanted to own my own company and I believed (and still do) that I have the personality traits to be a good planner. Thankfully, I do like weddings!

So how does one become a wedding planner?

First off, you have to get access to the wedding community. Just calling or emailing a wedding planner saying, “Weddings are my passion!!!!! Can I have a job?” will get you nowhere 99.99% of the time. I recommend joining an association, taking their certification courses, and finding out how and where the wedding industry networks. Association of Bridal Consultants, June Weddings, and Weddings Beautiful are all recommended. Courses and seminars are fine and dandy, but until you spend some time in the trenches getting dirty, you don’t know squat about weddings. I don’t care if you planned your own wedding: attending a wedding as a guest or a bride is nowhere near the reality of working as a planner. Trust me.

Once you find out where we planners network, you come network with us. Networking is crucial in this industry, so you better get used to and get good at it. Coming to network with us takes guts, and we recognize that, and so we’re open to talking with you just because of this. I don’t recommend coming in with a business card with your new company name on it though, because you need to be honest and tell us what experience you have. If you have zero to little experience, please please please don’t take on a bride and use her as your guinea pig. You could inadvertently ruin her wedding day and tarnish the respect that professional coordinators work so hard to obtain in this industry.

Once you have found a potential mentor, you intern until we trust you enough to start scheduling you as an assistant. Because our reputations are always on the line and our staff reflects us, we rarely give second chances. So if you show up dressed in a cocktail dress and heels when my intern agreement states to wear black pants and comfy shoes, you won’t be working with me again. All of this takes guts, time, and commitment, but when word starts to get around that you are smart AND hardworking you start to get paid to work weddings and you start to become seasoned.

Once you feel like you have trained enough and can start taking on your own clients, you have to start building your business: branding, website, portfolio, marketing, etc. I recommend working with a business coach in order to start up correctly and get your policies and procedures in order. Then you have to start finding clients. And if you find the magic answer to that question, let me know, will you? In my case it is a mixture of networking, advertising, and optimism. Be prepared to get turned down a lot—it’s part of the gig.

Once you start booking clients, you have to learn how to be a chameleon but stay true to yourself. You have to juggle multiple clients who all have different personalities and ways that they need to be treated. You have work with the other vendors yet still make sure that your loyalties are with your client. You have to deal with family issues that pop up and know when to shut your mouth and when to give advice. You have to know your value and not accept less than you know you’re worth. You have to figure out a way to balance out your personal and family life in order to prevent burnout. You have to be ok with 14 hour days, intense manual labor, and the loss of weekends. You have to possess tact, speed, composure, grace, propriety, intelligence, a backbone, a sense of humor, and incredibly thick skin. You have to truly care about people and provide the type of support that they need. You have to know that nobody is going to build a business or a career for you. And you have to work very, very hard.

Good luck!

A Rustic Eastern Inspired Wedding

Back in August I was excited to share that Mallika and Steve's Rustic Eastern Inspired wedding was featured on one of my favorite blogs Style Me Pretty and I'm playing around with the tool Mosiac Maker with these pictures and just had to post them on my blog again. All images taken by the fabulous Suthi Picotte of Picotte Photography. You can read all about Mallika & Steve's wedding day here.

A Videographer's Perspective: Isabel Gonzalez

I have to admit, I kind of heart Isabel Gonzalez of Isabel Gonzales Videotique just because she is a girl. Kind of like I love meeting a female mechanic or machinist cause I just adore women that break the stereotypes of what jobs we are expected to have. I hardly know any other women videographers other than Isabel. Oh, and I also heart her because she's awesome at what she does and she's an awesome person. Should I a say awesome one more time? Anyway, Isabel took some time from editing weddings (at least 2 of my client's weddings for sure) to answer my questions. Enjoy!

Q. Who Are You And What Makes You Fabulous?

A. Ah, a question that begs to be answered like a true Gen X’er: a brain, an athlete, a basket case, etc, etc. Unfortunately, I don’t cleanly fall into any of these categories so I shall create my own … my name is Isabel Gonzalez and I make chick flicks of the awesomest kind – I’m a wedding videographer … also known as wedding filmmaker, storyteller, etc. I try not to get too caught up in titles, after all, for me it’s not about the title but about the product.

I capture moving (in a motion as well as emotional way) images on a day like no other, where every single moment either leads up to or is a result of a masterful union. The creation: a love story unlike any other. Typically there are 30 frames per second of video. If a photo is worth a thousand words then what does that say about video or film? … it speaks volumes I tell you!

So what is it that makes me fabulous? I would say it’s not me as much as it is about the moments I have the opportunity to record – they are fabulous. Me? Fabulous? I’d rather say lucky … empathetic … a romantic … skilled. Fabulous? I wouldn’t say that but I won’t stop you if you did. ;)

Q. What Is It Like Working A Wedding WITHOUT A Wedding Coordinator?

A. Number one focus for the bride should be the groom. Number one focus for the groom, the bride – relishing every moment that happens between them, their friends and family and enjoying the festivities.

When a bride and groom take on the role of coordinator themselves, many of those special moments take a back seat to all the time-consuming details of the day. Although the details are important, it makes for unnecessary distraction.

Often I’ve seen coordinator-less weddings … what I also inevitably see: a bride that is being asked a plethora of questions on a day that is already emotion-filled. Why add stress to the equation? Fast-moving train … no conductor … get it?

Q. What Makes A Coordinator Good?

A. A sense of calm. Attention to detail. Empathy. Style. Plays well with others. Juggling abilities (red nose optional).

A talent that I respect each and every time is the ability to handle unexpected and unwelcome situations that arise and to take care of them without anyone, especially the happy couple, ever knowing it happened. Now that’s a pro!

Q. Do You Have Any Funny Wedding Stories?

A. Brides: imagine this. You’re walking down your rose-petalled aisle towards your betrothed. You see him catch his breath as he sees you for the first time. Is that the glimmer of a tear in his eye? But what if that special someone that’s walking down the aisle changes their mind at the last moment?

Well, that’s what happened when Felix decided he didn’t want to walk Sofia down the aisle towards James. Felix decided he was going to his sit his hairy butt right down on the aisle. Of course, Felix was Sofia’s cat and he had no intention of walking his dear owner down. It’s not like the bride didn’t try to convince him. She dragged Felix several feet but after a few gentle tugs on his collar, decided Felix wouldn’t be pawing Sofia over to James.

Felix obtusely sat the rest of the ceremony and reception out on his tall custom-made chair. As sad as it is to say, although rare, not all family members will applaud and approve of your joys.

Happy note: Felix has since grown to love James and they all now share a very happy home together.

The Rules of Marriage as Seen by Kids

It's been a busy week catching up from Hawaii in Amber Land, so I'm posting something that makes me smile. It's one of those silly emails that your mom, your mother-in-law, your aunts, and your grandma ALL forward to you without taking the FW:FW:FW: FW: stuff off so you have to scroll down for 5 years, but this one was well worth the scroll down. Enjoy "The Rules of Marriage as Seen by Kids"

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

• You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff... Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. --Alan, age 10
  

• No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. --Kristen, age 10
  

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

• Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. --Camille, age 10
  

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF 2 PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

• You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. --Derrick, age 8
  

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

• Both don't want any more kids. --Lori, age 8
  

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

• Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. --Lynnette, age 8
  

• On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. --Martin, age 10
  

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

• When they're rich. --Pam, age 7
  

• The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. --Curt, age 7
  

• The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. --Howard, age 8
  

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

• It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. --Anita, age 9

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

• There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? --Kelvin, age 8
  

And the #1 Favorite is ..........

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

• Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck . --Ricky , age 10
  

Hawaii!

Aaaaah, Hawaii. Where to begin? It seems kind of cliche to say I had an awesome trip because, hello! it's Hawaii and if you don't have an awesome time in Hawaii your heart is made of stone. Or you have the swine flu.

Erin and Shawn's wedding was fabulous. And I mean F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S! I can't wait to get the pictures from our wonderful photographer Brooke Fitts of Brookelyn Photography so I can properly blog about it, but for now I'm going to say that the entire experience of their wedding was great: their family & friends, the beautiful Sheraton Keouhou Bay Resort & Spa, the vendors, and even the rain that decided to grace us with an appearance for good luck (thankfully, we had a Plan B which we DID implement)

My adorable husband Eric came with me on this trip because, hello! it's Hawaii and after two days of work on the wedding, I was able to go play with him. Aside from the fact that we had a convertible that he insisted on (I hate convertibles, that's so un-American, isn't it?!) we had a great time AND I didn't get burned. Success! I spend most of my life trying to avoid my Kryptonite: The Sun. (this explains my unyeilding hatred of convertibles)

We rented a 2 bedroom condo right outside of Kailua-Kona run by the hospitable and helpful homeowner Bill Newcomb. If you're looking for a great priced place, I highly recommend checking out his listing at http://www.vrbo.com/33241.

My highlights of our trip (aside from the wedding, of course) was the morning that we spent kayaking and swimming with wild Spinner dolphins. Well, swim after is a more appropriate term. They tolerated us and let us get close to them, but not close enough to touch. They were gorgeous! Probably 50 or so swimming, playing, jumping, and talking all around us. It was so neat to be underwater and hear their conversations. One of them jumped so close to Eric that it landed from its flip a mere 4 feet from him! AWESOME.

We also spent an entire day hiking the Waipi'o Valley. And if you're familiar with this valley prepare to be impressed: we hiked down in AND back up. Yes, all 3/4 of a mile each way. 3/4 of a mile at a 25% + incline, to be exact. My calves are still screaming at me. It's so steep that at certain points I leaned over just a bit more and put my hands on the ground and walked on all fours. It was insane! The only way I made it out was to repeat my mantra of "dry clothes, dry shoes, pizza, beer!" over and over again. We attempted to hike to Hi'ilawe Falls, the 1,400 ft waterfall that dominates the valley, but we lost the trail and after 30 minutes of slogging up the river on moss covered rocks, I called it quits because I like my ankles un-broken thank you very much. A bit dissapointed that we didn't make it to the falls, but we did give it a solid try. The entire valley was spectacular. So was the pizza and beer that we had when we finally crawled out.

All in all, a great trip. I'm so blessed to have a career that I love that allows incredible experiences like this and a partner to share it with!