How To Become a Wedding Planner

I get asked weekly “how did you become a wedding planner?” and my usual answer is “a lot of hard work”, but today I’ll actually go into it and share some of the road that I have traveled. Unlike many careers where you get a degree, intern, then get a job in said career, there really is no regulated or set way to become a wedding coordinator/planner. Funnily enough, I did not go into this because I’m in love with weddings, I went into wedding planning because I’ve always wanted to own my own company and I believed (and still do) that I have the personality traits to be a good planner. Thankfully, I do like weddings!

So how does one become a wedding planner?

First off, you have to get access to the wedding community. Just calling or emailing a wedding planner saying, “Weddings are my passion!!!!! Can I have a job?” will get you nowhere 99.99% of the time. I recommend joining an association, taking their certification courses, and finding out how and where the wedding industry networks. Association of Bridal Consultants, June Weddings, and Weddings Beautiful are all recommended. Courses and seminars are fine and dandy, but until you spend some time in the trenches getting dirty, you don’t know squat about weddings. I don’t care if you planned your own wedding: attending a wedding as a guest or a bride is nowhere near the reality of working as a planner. Trust me.

Once you find out where we planners network, you come network with us. Networking is crucial in this industry, so you better get used to and get good at it. Coming to network with us takes guts, and we recognize that, and so we’re open to talking with you just because of this. I don’t recommend coming in with a business card with your new company name on it though, because you need to be honest and tell us what experience you have. If you have zero to little experience, please please please don’t take on a bride and use her as your guinea pig. You could inadvertently ruin her wedding day and tarnish the respect that professional coordinators work so hard to obtain in this industry.

Once you have found a potential mentor, you intern until we trust you enough to start scheduling you as an assistant. Because our reputations are always on the line and our staff reflects us, we rarely give second chances. So if you show up dressed in a cocktail dress and heels when my intern agreement states to wear black pants and comfy shoes, you won’t be working with me again. All of this takes guts, time, and commitment, but when word starts to get around that you are smart AND hardworking you start to get paid to work weddings and you start to become seasoned.

Once you feel like you have trained enough and can start taking on your own clients, you have to start building your business: branding, website, portfolio, marketing, etc. I recommend working with a business coach in order to start up correctly and get your policies and procedures in order. Then you have to start finding clients. And if you find the magic answer to that question, let me know, will you? In my case it is a mixture of networking, advertising, and optimism. Be prepared to get turned down a lot—it’s part of the gig.

Once you start booking clients, you have to learn how to be a chameleon but stay true to yourself. You have to juggle multiple clients who all have different personalities and ways that they need to be treated. You have work with the other vendors yet still make sure that your loyalties are with your client. You have to deal with family issues that pop up and know when to shut your mouth and when to give advice. You have to know your value and not accept less than you know you’re worth. You have to figure out a way to balance out your personal and family life in order to prevent burnout. You have to be ok with 14 hour days, intense manual labor, and the loss of weekends. You have to possess tact, speed, composure, grace, propriety, intelligence, a backbone, a sense of humor, and incredibly thick skin. You have to truly care about people and provide the type of support that they need. You have to know that nobody is going to build a business or a career for you. And you have to work very, very hard.

Good luck!

Advice on Large Weddings: A Big Little Wedding

A Big Little Wedding

If you are having a wedding with more than 250 people, you are definitely having a large wedding. An average sized wedding is challenging enough, but throw in an extra 100 to 300 people and you have quite a challenge! It is possible, however, to create an intimate feel at your large wedding by focusing on the logistics from the perspective of your guests. So much of how a guest views a wedding experience is based upon how comfortable they are, so focus on that aspect when dealing with planning your large wedding. Nobody likes to feel lost in a crowd.

Directions and Signage to help your guests

-Make sure there are clear signs for parking and signs directing guests to the ceremony.

-Have a greeter welcome guests, give directions to the restrooms, and take gifts. If you do not have a coordinator, assign a family member to do this. Keep in mind that it is a job that will get a bit tedious, as every guest needs to be greeted, but it is so important to make them feel like they matter!

-Have extra ushers on hand to help seat guests for the ceremony.

-If you do not have a coordinator to direct traffic, ask your officiant to announce where cocktail hour will be so guests know where to go after the ceremony.

-Make two tables for escort cards and split them up for ease: i.e., "A-M" and "N-Z"

-In a ballroom with 30, 40, or even 50 tables, finding your table is not easy. Your coordinator should have assistants with floor maps and alphabetical seating charts to help guests find their table. If you do not have a coordinator, consider framing the floorplan and putting it somewhere near the entry to the reception.

Managing your guests

-Keep in mind the amount of time it takes to move around large groups of people. You will need a longer cocktail hour if the cocktail and reception sites are not right next to each other.

-To prevent the bottleneck effect, place bars at opposite ends of the room away from the entrance.

-To prevent long bar lines, have servers tray pass wine and champagne during cocktail hour.

-Keep reception elements to a minimum as there needs to be padding in the timeline to service this many people. If too many activities (video montage, endless toasts, choreographed dances, dress changes, etc) are planned, there will not be enough time to say…..party, and your guest will leave feeling overwhelmed rather than elated.

Seat your guests

-If you are using round tables, consider a 60" round instead of a 72" and seat 10 people at it. A 72" round tables seat 10-12 people, however, I find that you can only really talk to the person on each side of you as the table is so large. Also, if you are open to alternatives, long banquet, or feasting tables, lend an air of intimacy in the right venue.

-Consider a family style meal as opposed to a plated meal. The psychological aspect of passing around the entrees and sides adds to a more homey, Thanksgiving-y feeling that gets guests really interacting with each other.

-No matter how big or little your floral budget is, make sure that your centerpieces do not obstruct conversation. I don't care how pretty something is, if I can't talk to the people at my table, a crucial part of dinner time is forever lost.

Connect with your Guests

- Consider taking all photos before the ceremony in order to attend cocktail hour and spend more time with your guests.

-Write a note in your program telling them that each and every one of them matters to you.

-If time permits, write a personal thank you note and attach to each escort card. This would be a huge undertaking, but imagine being a guest at a wedding and finding a personal note from the bride and groom waiting for you!

-In my opinion, Jewish receptions that start off with the Hora are the best wedding receptions as they kick off the evening with a festive "we are a community" high energy group dance. If you are not Jewish, consider doing something like transitioning your first dance into high energy dance set as a way to get your guests on the dancefloor to start the party.

-Welcome your guests at the beginning of your reception and tell that you look forward to saying hello to them on the dancefloor!

-Guests really do follow your lead--if you are dancing and having fun, so will they!

Activities to engage your Guests

-Have something fun like a Photobooth to encourage guests to interact and have fun together. I have noticed that the line for the photobooth is usually longer than the line for the bar!

-Have an activity that allows your guests to contribute something important such as a scrapbook page or a signed wine bottle that will be opened on anniversaries.

-Later in the evening provide fun party toys like glowsticks, hats, or maracas. It sounds cheesy, but adding toys to a formal event breaks down reservations and people really having fun playing with them!

Image taken by www.callawaygable.com of Michelle & Dave's 360 person wedding at Vibiana

Mallika and Steve: Real Wedding Advice

Back in May I had the honor of coordinating Mallika and Steve's wedding. They are and were some of my favorite couples and the coolest people in the world! I have not blogged or posted pictures of the wedding as we are going to submit to some magazines in order to get them published, and sometimes magazines won't publish a wedding if the photos have made the rounds on the Internet. So this adorable picture will have to suffice. I can't WAIT to share the pictures that the talented Suthi Picotte of Picotte Photography took though!

Mallika was kind enough to fill out a post-wedding questionairre for me to share with my blog readers. Enjoy!

Q. WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF YOUR WEDDING DAY?
A. Just after the ceremony, Amber led my husband and I into our reception venue for a private moment. It was amazing to get a few minutes with him, to celebrate what we just did, have a moment to calm down, change my shoes, have a bite to eat, etc. Amber and Krista were very attentive and sweet!

Q. WHAT DO YOU FEEL WAS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY?
A. We chose not to do a couple "typical" wedding reception activities (bouquet toss, garter toss, money dance, etc.) because we felt they were unnecessary. Ultimately, the flow of the reception was perfect by just doing the reception activities we felt were necessary.

Q. WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE, IF ANYTHING?
A. I would have worked on what to say to the guests before the cake cutting. It was thrown together and I didn't end up saying everything I wanted to. Also, would have communicated with our photographer about someone being there to video, and that he had little to no experience shooting a wedding. And probably wouldn't do the unity candle, but instead some other unity thing, like sand or water.

Q. WHAT WAS UNEXPECTED THAT YOU LOVED?
A. Having done the pictures before the ceremony, I knew that the whole wedding party would be hanging out as guests arrived. But I didn't realize how much fun, and how relaxing this would be. It helped everyone not feel nervous, and just be really excited.

Q. WHAT ARE YOUR FONDEST MEMORIES OF YOUR WEDDING DAY?
A. Dancing with Steve, and with our friends, seeing the reception hall all set up for the first time, cutting and eating the delicious cake, the toasts, and our first dance as husband and wife followed by a short high energy dance set (the reception really came alive early!)

Q. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WISH YOU HAD SPENT MORE TIME OR MONEY ON?
A. We wish we had spent more time communicating with the videographer and about his presence to the other vendors. We hired a cousin, and because of his lack of experience, I felt like he wasn't aware of where to be and what to do. He got good footage, but was too close to us during the ceremony, and that made me feel nervous.

Q. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WISH YOU HAD SPENT LESS TIME OR MONEY ON?
A. The invitations. People just throw them out anyways. I wish that we had just picked one and gone with it, rather than hemming and hawing of which to choose.

Q. WERE THERE ANY UNEXPECTED SURPRISES OR ISSUES?
A. Just the unity candle/lighters not working and the groom's mother's long, drawn out speech.

Q. WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER 1 TIP FOR FUTURE ENGAGED COUPLES?
A. Hire a coordinator! It seriously makes all the difference. On our day we were so relaxed, and everything went perfectly! The weddings I've been to that didn't have one were a mess, and stressful and awkward for everyone there.

Q. HOW DID YOU FEEL AFTER THE WEDDING?
A. Blissful, happy and satisfied. It was the perfect day.

Thank you, Mallika and Steve for allowing me to be a part of your day! It was gorgeous and touching!

Emily and Nick's wedding at The Westlake Village Inn

The wedding rehearsal on June 13 was foggy, misty, and chilly, just like the previous two weeks of June had been. The icky "June Gloom" was to blame. But Sunday, June 14 dawned sunny and warm, with fluffy puffy clouds in the sky. A perfect day for a wedding!

Nick and Emily live here in Los Angeles, but many of their family and friends came in from out of state for the weekend. Emily's lovely mother, Sara (who lives in Kansas City), and I did a majority of the planning via phone, email, and two powwow weekends of back to back meetings. Nick and Emily are a busy, busy couple. He is a doctorate student at USC and she just finished her doctorate in clinical psychology. Very smart people. And wonderful, kind, and deeply in love.

The ceremony was held at the gazebo at the Westlake Village Inn. Rabbi Brett Krichiver officiated a beautiful and touching Jewish ceremony, and Emily walked down the aisle to a song that Nick specifically chose for her: "Le Cygne" by Saint-Saëns played by a quartet with Blue Skies Events. Cocktail hour was held on the terrace of the Provence room. The ceremony and reception colors were a mix of whites, celery green, and pale aqua. The flowers, designed by Val Eule of Just Flowers, were a summery airy mix of white and green Hydrangea, Roses, Lilies, Lisianthus, Freesia, Dendrobiums, Tulips and Orchids. Alternating high and low arrangements looked lovely against the aqua linens and beneath the sparkling chandeliers.

The cake was baked from scratch and decorated by Joeleen Jaquez of A Sweet Design. The guests enjoyed a dual entree dinner with fun touches to the reception such as a Sundae Bar and a Cappuccino Bar. DJ Nahchey of Dash Entertainment turned the evening into a party and guests had a ball.

The entire day was full of handmade details made by Emily's mom Sara. Unique fan programs, escort cards, table numbers, favors and adorable petal cones were such great touches made with love.

Not only did the day flow smoothly with a happy couple enjoying their family and friends, I had a wonderful time. Sara actually thanked me in her welcome toast and told me that she could not have done it without me! Such an unexpected gift!

Videography was done by Isabel Gonzalez Videography and Images were captured by the talented Veronica Puleo of Verofoto. A huge thank you to my assistants Krista and Dani--as usual, I could not have done it without you!