Tuesday, November 17, 2009

On getting married

A recent bride told me when I asked her what it felt like to get married: "the wedding was ALL of the emotions one has about any and every relationship in your life ALL AT ONCE". Another bride told me that "it was both the longest AND shortest day" of her life. I think both of these statements sum up getting married and the wedding day brilliantly.

Many times when my clients start sharing how overwhelmed they're feeling, I explain to them that while I understand that they do have a lot to get done that is stressing them out, I usually find that it is the overall presence of the wedding that is making them feel anxious.  And then I ask if the "Weddingmares" have started...you know, the dreams that you forget your dress or no guests show up? The dreams are crazy and bizarre and I think it's just a way that your brain attempts to process this monumental step you are about to take.

For some reason, the act of getting married dredges up emotions that you may have forgotten or pushed away for some time. While it is a wonderful time, it can also be extremely painful if you are dealing with the loss of someone close in your life that should have been at your wedding: a parent, a sibling, a friend, etc. The emotions, along with the 5 million wedding tasks, your job, your in-laws,  and the budget make for an emotional pressure cooker of an engagement.

And then the wedding day arrives. All of the emotions you have ever experienced in your life are boiling inside of you. The day flies by faster than a whirlwind, and then it is over.  You're married! THIS is what it was all about!

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