I wrote this blog post last summer but did not post it as everything was a bit too fresh and raw for this couple. Their wedding came and went in the fall and it was perfect and they were thrilled. I feel like I can post this now:
The milestones of our lives
"I feel like our wedding is cursed." my bride said to me. And she is not being melodramatic. In the past month, she lost a close friend to cancer and her fiance, his mother to a debilitating disease. I can't even imagine what they're going through. And truthfully? I don't even want to try. Her friend and his mother...
Postponing their fall wedding was something she actually considered a few weeks ago. Thankfully, it wasn't an option for him. We are moving forward with plans. Life goes on, as they say.
I was talking a few nights ago with a colleague of mine about what we do and he said "when you look at human history, our ceremonies are the milestones of our lives: our christenings, weddings, parades, and burials." I've never looked at it like that. Our lives whiz by us at lightening speed and it takes something like consciously making an effort to acknowledge the fact that this important event is, indeed, a monumental occasion in our life and we need to stop and recognize that. Or draw on the cave wall, carve a statue, build an arch, or take a photo. Commemorate.
Many people say that a wedding is a waste of money "for just one day". But I don't see it like that. A wedding is the celebration of the fact that two people have found each other and want to commit their lives to each other. Whether they have a BBQ in the backyard or an 8 course dinner in a 5 start venue, their wedding is the monument that asks their family and friends to pause for a moment and recognize this milestone in their life. Commemorate.
My bride and groom are going to celebrate their wedding this fall and there will be loved ones who, unfortunately, have passed on who will not be physically there. Instead of putting it off because they are going through a hard time, I believe they need this moment more than ever. They found each other after a lifetime of searching, and this is the day where their friends and family will come together and celebrate with them. It is a day that will never happen again and my couple will have the memories and the photos to remember this milestone, or monument, in their life.
4 comments:
absolutely beautiful. thank you so much for sharing, amber.
I'm glad you decided to finally post this, Amber. Not only is it an important message, but it is also important, for you, that you posted it.
I've read that thoughts aren't real until you speak them. Or write them, in this case. I can feel the emotion that you must have felt when writing this. This is a very special and heartwarming story and you obviously felt deeply for these people, and passionately for this subject.
I too have stories that I haven't shown, and maybe this will help me find my way to the page.
Amber, thank you for sharing. I've never thought of it that way but this is so entirely true. Milestones need to be celebrated and that's why we have ceremonies. I'm happy your couple decided to move forward with their wedding.
A beautiful story.
I also face the 'Circle of Life' every day. It makes our lives richer to stop and remember. You are helping to make those stops beautiful. Hugs
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